Ross Cunningham, 34, Fife

“Reaching the summit gave me an objective to work towards”

I have never felt pain like when I went through depression for two months in 2017. It made me feel like I was mentally drowning and being dragged deeper and deeper down into an abyss.

I felt that there was no way out, that I would never be able to pull myself out from it. There were days I would cry several times in a few hours and I just didn't want to leave my bed. I have never had to be so strong as to go to work and pretend like everything was fine when inside I was suffering. It would take me hours to fall asleep at night and then I would wake up extremely early the next morning with anxiety coursing through my body. I'd lost the motivation to do anything and in truth I didn't want to live anymore. Living felt too painful to endure. But fortunately, I made it through. 

The most important reason I recovered was opening up about how I was feeling to close friends and family. Talking about mental health really made a huge difference. But after that, the biggest thing which helped me was hiking mountains. My friend Megan, a keen Munro bagger, saw how much I was struggling and insisted I go with her up Ben Lawers in Perthshire one August afternoon - and in the three years since, more weekends than not I've been hiking a mountain. I had lost interest in my other hobbies, but there was something about reaching the summit of a Munro which gave me an objective to work towards and helped me clear my head for a little while. The endorphins from exercise made me feel that little bit better and helped me sleep at night too. In the early hiking days there were times I would lose the motivation and turn back, sometimes half way through a hike. I just wasn't feeling strong enough mentally to go on and I let it affect me. But I would try again the next week and when I made it to the top it would mean even more. 

I've now summitted over half of Scotland's 282 Munros, and I've done 61 of them with my very small companion, Dex, my West Highland White Terrier. Although he needs a lift over rivers and up rockier parts, he leads the way and will always make it to the top before me! The last three years have truly been the best three years of my life, and I've met so many new friends, learned new skills, and have made countless memories that will stay with me forever. Depression was my lowest point in life but the days I have spent in the mountains have been my highest in more than one way. 

Watch Ross talking about his story on a short BBC film here.